May 7, 2007

Fan Death

Please try to keep an open mind as you read the justifications for this seemingly far-fetched theory of Fan Death.

Fan Death is a South Korean legend which states that any electric fan left running, in a closed room, can be fatal to all individuals in the immediate premises. The electric fan is not the only criminal belonging to this myth; Koreans also consider air conditioners and car fans to be killers as well. Koreans, including highly educated medical personnel, believe:
  1. Electric fans will create a vortex that sucks the air (oxygen) out of a sealed room creating a vacuum inside.
  2. Fans consumes the oxygen within the room leaving high levels of carbon dioxide.
  3. If the fan is directly blowing on a persons face, it will suck all the air away leavening the sleeping person without breath.
  4. The fan blades slice and dice the air molecules until the air is no longer breathable causing the unsuspecting victim to suffocate. (This one might be my favorite)
  5. The fan will slowly lower the surrounding air temperature which in turn will cause a body in rest to slip into hypothermia.
Any of these or a combination of any of the above will overtime prove to be fatal.

Points to ponder:
  • Fan death is commonly accepted by many Korean medical professionals.
  • Fans that are manufactured and sold in South Korea are equipped with a timer that will automatically shut the fan off.
  • In the summer major Korean newspapers regularly run articles and warnings about the victims and hazards of this silent killer. One week in 1997 claimed 11 lives!
  • My favorite: Women in South Korea are appalled and revolted when I tell them my mom let me sleep in a room while a fan was operating. The look on their faces speaks of disgust and down right contempt at the thought of a woman hating her child so much that she would leave them in a closed room with a fan running.
1095 nights and counting my wife and I have slept with the fan on. If this is the last correspondence that you receive from me know that I have led a happy life.

1 comment:

Les said...

Fan blades slicing and dicing oxygen molecules seems pretty ludicrous, until it leaves you in a freezing cold room full of ozone and carbon dioxide. pick your battles, and dont say I didnt warn you!

- chicken little on soju mixers